Stopping Ahmadinejad’s PR Train

Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad may be an evil despot but, he’s also a PR Genius and year after year he makes the American people, government and media look like complete idiots – this year was no different.

Amadinejad has one objective when addressing the UN: Raising his profile on a global stage by purposing saying outrageous & offensive things. Amadinejad does this to deeper solidify his relationship with America’s enemies (it’s kind of like a secret wink or high five he’s giving other supporters of terrorism). Amadinejad knows that the more headlines he makes, the more relevant he will appear to me – hence the more he will be regarded as a serious player on the world stage.

The American Media essentially delivers Amadinejad’s propaganda (100x better than he ever could!) on a silver platter to the world (and further enhances his message by being outraged by it).

The American People take Amadinejad’s bait by protesting his appearances to the US – hence, raising Amadinejad’s profile and his relevancy. The American people should really be protesting against the State Department – they’re the ones who allow state sponsors of terrorism to visit the US year after year and then stick the taxpayer with the security bill!

The American Government essentially allows Amadinejad (a head of state with a clear record of supporting terrorism) to spew hate & ignorance about America on American soil – something no other government on the face of the earth would tolerate. Again, Amadinejad’s profile is raised when President Obama and various members of our government publicly condemn his actions.

Does Ahmadinejad believe half the stuff he says? Maybe but, he absolutely knows what to say to provoke a reaction from the world: saying the holocaust didn’t happen, 9/11 was a conspiracy – these statements seem to be coming not from Ahmadinejad’s mind but, that of an Iranian think-tank or focus group.

If we want to win the PR battle against Ahmadinejad, here’s what needs to be done:

The American Media: Cut your coverage of this maniac by 80% – that’s it. Also, the political talk shows should severely limit their discussions about Amadinejad and focus on other world affairs.

The American People: Take the anger for which you channel towards Ahmadinejad and put that towards helping the Iranian People who’s been brutalized by his regime. Ahmadinejad’s wants you to respond to his message of hate with hatred of your own back to him. Hate does not conquer hate however, ignoring hate and filling your hearts with love absolutely weakens the foundation of hate.

The American Government: Stop letting state sponsors of terrorism come to the US even if it means pissing off the UN. If you insist that they must come here, let them pay for their own damn security. Also, stop making such an epic event of condemning Ahmadinejad for his outrageous statement and while you’re in the process, give him an embarrassing nickname like “Wuzzy Foo Bear” and constantly call him that. Doing that will absolutely tarnish Ahmadinejad’s respect in the eyes of America’s enemies and will knock his relevancy down quite a bit.

You’re Irrelevant

Sorry to be the bearer of bad news but, you’re completely irrelevant. The average life span of a human being is about 70 years old and Earth is over 4.2 billion years old. Your lifespan would have to be multiplied by 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 in order to equal a nano second in the earth’s existence!

Long after you’re dead, the earth will still be here. Even if you were the most famous person in the world, you’ll be forgotten in a few hundred years and any evidence of your existence will be erased in the next global cataclysm. If earth’s lifespan were that of the average human life; catastrophic earthquakes, glaciers, meteor strikes,  polar shifts would occur a few days a week.

You’re irrelevant. What’s the point of war or even trying to change someone? What’s the point of being sad or pissed off? What’s the point of dragging yourself to a mundane job that you hate everyday?

Many philosophers and successful entrepreneurs throughout human history (which isn’t even a blink in the total existence of the earth) have said: “Find something you love to do and do it.” They probably realized the irrelevancy of a human life and thought “might as well enjoy the brief time that you’re here right?”

Mark and I love to do PR – it’s a great way to pass the time living in irrelevancy.

Elasticity of Truth

I believe the heart of every scandal, betrayal, and downfall at some point relates to an individuals “Elasticity of Truth” – what they present themselves as the public to be and whom they really are behind closed doors. Think of this idea as a stretched rubberband – eventually it will have to snap back into place. The farther it’s stretched, the more  it will hurt when it snaps back (or possibly breaks all together).

Politicians seem to impale themselves on this idea all the time. Every election there’s always a few conservative, “champion of family values” candidates who behind closed doors parade in a concoction of vices that make Keith Richards look like a choir boy. They get caught, everyone is shocked & hurt (they were supposed to be a moral character right?), they make the public apology and then miraculously “find God” shortly after. Same formula, different people and this election looks to be no different.

I feel the Elasticity of Truth may be able to explain why Charlie Sheen can be arrested for beating his wife, get a raise, and see his show ratings skyrocket WHEREAS Tiger Woods can get caught having affairs (which is not against the law) and see his fanbase shrink and his earnings freefall.

Charlie Sheen’s public persona (a bad boy womanizing, alcoholic) is nearly identical to his private persona. The Elasticity of Truth band hardly stretches here at all and there’s no deception as to who Charlie Sheen really is. Tiger Woods on the other hand publicly portrayed himself for years as a family man while privately he was a swinging bachelor – SNAP!

I believe that all of us to some degree or another present an enhanced version of ourselves to the public (think makeup). However, the closer our public persona is to that of whom we really are it seems the less we ever have to worry about our character facing mass scrutiny (it’s great PR for yourself). Sounds easy in theory but, can be difficult in practice because of the great temptation of being accepted by many & having admirers.

Examples of  Elasticity of Truth

Jim Bakker

Public Life: A beloved preacher close to God who embodied the highest of moral standards

Private Life: Not so moral or close to God. Had an affair with church secretary Jessica Hahn. Massive revelations of accounting fraud.

Elasticity of Truth: Snapped big time. Bakker lost his ministry, went to prison, was publicly humiliated but, God showed Bakker infinite mercy by delivering him from then wife Tammy Faye Bakker.

Elliot Spitzer

Public Persona:  Family Man, Governor and champion of cleaning up corruption. The white knight in the fight against prostitution.

Private Persona: Hooker-Palooza

Elasticity of Truth: Lost the governorship, family humiliated…..got his own TV show?

Mark Goldman & Ryan McCormick

Public Persona:  No time for BS Workaholics who’d who anything to help a client or member of the media.

Private Persona:  Same as public – both sleep with blackberries on their pillows & cut vacations short for client needs.

Elasticity of Truth: The band has never stretched and they will ensure it never will.

Chelsea’s Sex Tape

Will the release of a sex tape hurt or help Chelsea Handler? The only way I see it hurting her is if the Parent Television Council makes a big stink about it if Handler is set to take over as the host of late night show on NBC, CBS, or ABC. Handler’s comedy is a bit edgy, she’s got 3 best selling books, and I don’t think her personal life really deviates much at all from her public persona. The sex tape (apparently all 30 seconds of it) will likely be forgotten faster than Basic Instinct 2.

Communication Expert & CEO of Media Training Worldwide TJ Walker and I discussed this yesterday on his show yesterday. See the video clip below.

Paladino’s Big Victory

Carl Paladino won tonight’s NY Republican Primary because he won the PR war against Rick Lazio. Paladino offered a fresh new product (unconventional yet, simple ideas) and marketed himself with passion. Lazio never found his voice, never took a chance, and had zero passion.

Regardless of your political affiliation, when someone speaks with fire, excitement, and purpose – they tend to draw attention. My gut says many people who cast a vote for Paladino probably disagreed with him on several issues but, did it because they saw in Paladino qualities that they long to see within themselves: drive, success, fire, ambition, a sense of hope, and a fresh foot to potentially kick the ass of problems long unsolved.

Regardless of who you are and what you believe, our country’s success is founded on hard work and passion. If you wish to predict the future of our country, examine the morals & values of our hardest working & most passionate citizens – they’re driving the truck.

Justin Beiber Is Sick of His Screaming Fans

Tween idol Justin Bieber, (apparently fearing for his hearing), says he doesn’t want fans to scream at him, or for him anymore. Our PR advice to Beiber is to backtrack on those comments and simply wear ear plugs on future tours (or lose his hearing the old fashion way by attending a Metallica concert).

Mark and I feel Beiber’s pain as we have been dealing with screaming fans our whole lives. It’s a great thing to walk into a room where everyone knows you but, it’s a bit creepy when hundreds of people run up to you with “Goldman McCormick Rules” tatooed on themselves. However, we always, always tell our fans how much we love & appreciate them.

Here’s another piece of advice for Beiber: always keep fresh pieces of veil on you. If hundreds of fans ambush you, you can throw the veil and they’ll immediately chance after it. You’ll have at least 5 seconds to make a run for safety.

Another piece of advice for Beiber: Hire Goldman McCormick PR – you want people to know who you are don’t you?

PR of Ground Zero Mosque

While the debate rages on about whether or not to build a mosque near ground zero, let’s face reality for a second: it’s not being built. Public pressure will ultimately force Imam Feisal Abdul Rauf, the project’s prime mover to build it elsewhere the same way public pressure put a kibosh on the Dubai Port Deal in ’06. I think Rauf is absolutely using the controversy to elevate his public profile to line up future real estate deals (which actually a smart thing).

If we were representing Rauf, here’s some advice that would improve his public image:

At every chance possible, he should continue to profess his American patriotism and embrace of American ideals. At every press conference, he should discuss more of what he loves about this country and even site our greatest leaders & history (sadly, this something many Americans know nothing about).

Rauf should publicly denounce Faiz Khan (a longtime partner)’s claims that 9/11 was an inside job. This is a no brainer

Rauf should meet with the families of 9/11 and listen to their concerns in a public or private forum – it would show his sensitivity towards the people who would be affected the most by the mosque.

Rauf should guarantee a prayer memorial within the mosque for the victims of 9/111. That would be a real classy thing to do and it would a great gesture towards 9/11 families.

Again, this mosque isn’t going to happen. Once Rauf realizes there is nothing more to gain from his thrust into the spotlight, this will become a reality.

No Screaming Kids Allowed

With one 8 x 10 sign, the Olde Salty restaurant in Carolina Beach. N.C has earned about a million dollars in free publicity. All the owner did was tap into a common frustration shared by millions of Americans:  screaming children. How many times have you been in a restaurant, on a plane, on a train or in a library and have had to deal with this? Well played Olde Salty. Well played.

Presidential Vacations / Obama PR Advice

Regardless of your political affiliations, it appears that President Obama has been consistently in the news for as much as his policies as his vacation time (he’s doing a Camp David retreat nearly two weeks after his last vacation). It’s not so much that the vacations are bad but, that everyone knows about them that is causing some very, very bad PR for his administration (even though he’s taken fewer that his predecessor).

If CEO of a company is taking vacations while his workers barely survive and the company is tanking, what example does that set? Do you think those workers will give a damn about the greater good of the company as opposed to looking out for themselves? Not a chance.

Quick PR Tips for Obama

1.  Pull some all-nighters and publicize it (show visuals of him and his staff drinking coffee at 4 am working on the budget deficit reduction or economy related material).

2.  Obama should STOP telling the media that he’s taking vacations and STOP sending the media pictures of his vacations.

3. Obama should start dressing a little shabby, act grumpier, and always look chronically fatigued (any married man could coach him on this) – it’ll show Americans he’s working like a maniac on their behalf and that’s good PR.

4. Obama should learn from President Clinton’s work ethic  – he rarely took vacation. America was his obsession and it showed across the board and I think that most successful CEO’s probably have a similar work ethic to Clinton’s.

At Goldman McCormick PR, Mark and I have canceled or postponed vacations at a moments notice because our clients needed us (and because we love them so much). We both endure daily fire from our significance others because we sleep next to our blackberry’s and answer calls at all hours of the day. We’re relentless because we want our clients to earn the success they absolutely deserve.

President Obama may be down in the polls but, he can still inspire millions to act. Nixing the vacations would be a smart move in the right direction.

Tiki Barber Hires PR Agency In Attempt To Repair His Image

Can Tiki Barber’s image be restored? Absolutely. Barber can partake in several activities and events that help the community and better people’s lives. He can hold a press conference and make a tearful apology to his ex-wife, fans, and NBC. However, even with Ronn Torrossian (a brilliant hire btw) in his corner, I think it’s highly doubtful he’ll ever reclaim his “family man” image again. It’s one thing to leave your pregnant wife for a work intern (a family & employer betrayal) but, it’s another thing to parade your infidelity to the world. The fact that Barber shamelessly bragged about his conquest should be a clear indication that this is an individual with a bit of a recklessness / self destructive streak and lacking some self discipline. However, the fact that Barber has also hired a PR firm indicates he likely realizes the depth of his mistake (at least terms of how much money he’s lost with a tarnished image).